WASP Ways:

We...

Know not to brag... Nice people don't talk about money.

Detest PDA: There’s no need to show off how in love we are… Grandmother’s diamond is convincing enough.

Stay away from snobbery. Many assume WASPs are snobs but we’re not—we actually find the glimpses of how other people live interesting...

Know that when we get our blood taken the vile is going to fill up blue… 

Place Gentlemen's Bets, never more that $1.00...

Rely on Credit Cards from a young age-WASPs only carry enough cash for tipping. Packing 100 dollar bills is just showing off, we don't need to.

No WASP can function without mastering the discrete “tip handshake,” it’s a true marker of supreme masculinity.

Enjoy Classical Music, if we don't love it we sure know it well enough to pretend we do--and at the end of the day that's all that really matters.

Use discrete terms with each other like "N.O.K.D." If you have to ask, you're Not Our Kind, Dear.

Tip-toe around any elephant in a room, making a scene would just be uncouth.

Understand that swearing is only appropriate at certain times, when Dad starts throwing around F-bombs you know he means business.

Are always polite: Protestant values, impeccable manners, and schmoozing skills have been engrained into the WASP, politeness comes naturally… at least to other’s faces. 

Assign nicknames... Nothing says: "we're great friends" like the exchange of nicknames!